Hip Hop Police

I've gone through many phases of music; through the years, my taste have changed, most of the time according to what popular culture favoured and on other occasions, based on my own weird eccentric tastes. The boyband phase, the pop phase, the anime phase, the japanese phase, the j-rock phase, the chinese phase, the emo rock phase, the rock phase, the techno phase, the indie phase, and here I am, in a totally unexplored genre: hip hop, or gangsta music, as I'll call it from this point onwards.

Gangsta seems more hip-hop-happening.

Why hip-hop? It's the beat, I think. You can lose yourself in the beat, and just dance to it. And it's not all beat (uhn-tiss-uhn-tiss, dimdumdimdum) too, because some of the lyrics are quite intelligent, and even inspiring and thought-provoking. Take Chamillionaire for example. Ignore the idiotic name, please, but if you give some of his songs a spin, they're very politically-charged, and thus give insight to life in the ghettos. I guess life there is hard, and you feel the pain, know?

This piece of poetry had me cheering, I swear, I nearly saluted:

The world is crazy, everyday I gotta wake up to this nonsense
Silly rappers think I'm worried about a punch-line
I show more purpose than your whole career in one line
Victory

Voolamak. This guy is the shyte, dawg. Up-high? Naw? Yeah, I think I should just stick to prim and proper english; the ghetto ain't chillin' wif me, mofo.

Dang.

But...but...but...for every intelligent rapper out there whose rhymes ooze sheer breath-taking poetry, there are those who spout lines like buckets of vomit. Give Timbaland a try and you'll see what I mean. Admittedly, his songs are catchy, but some of the lines just stick out so badly...it's just waiting to get bashed.

Baby girl, I don't got a huge ol' house I rent a room in a house
Listen baby girl, I ain't got a motorboat but I can float ya boat
So listen baby girl, once you get a dose of D.O.E. you gon' want some mo'
So listen baby girl, when I make it I want you there, want you there, yeah

I thought "float your boat" went out of fashion, along with popped collars, being a vegan and pilates? And rhyming "boat" with "boat" and "house" with "house" shows lack of inspiration.

And these two verses from the song Bounce.

Bounce (Like yo' ass had the hiccups)
Bounce (Like we was ridin' in my pick-up)
Bounce (Why you lookin' so sad? baby girl you need to cheer up)
Bounce (I got the remedy, it's you on me and me on you
And you on me and me on you and you on her
Then her on me and her on you and y'all on me
Then me on y'all and y'all on me
Menage a trois, menage a tr-uh-uh)

OOH! There she go
Just what the Doc's been lookin' fo'
She just what I need
Black and Chinese like Sum Yung Ho
I got a bungalow
We can diappear for a week or so (Yeah)
I got a steady young flow
Super bowl wit' it like I'm Dungy yo (Oh)

At least there's French in it. And "bungalow" is really clever; Sum Yung Ho sounds suspiciously like Some Young Hoe...I wonder if it's on purpose?

On other news! Uncover the buried AC treasure!