Can't Let Go by Landon Pigg

This song haunted me all through my stay in Pakistan slightly less than a year ago. You see, at that time, I didn't have an MP3 player, so during our stop-over in Dubai, my mother bought me an early Christmas present in the form of a Microsoft Zune. As the technology in Pakistan is abit behind (or laggy), I could not download any new music, and had to settle for the songs which were already stored in the Zune.

Amongst the host of crap songs was a gem which I fell in love with entitled "Can't Let Go" by Landon Pigg. The tune never got my feet tapping, nor did I find Pigg's voice particularly special...it was the lyrics which caught me. You see, that time was a time of...emotional turmoil. I was in a relationship back then (I hear my older readers going "here he goes again", and you're right, here I go again!) and the long-distance was doing us no good. It was the holiday season, which should have been a time of joyous celebrations and the like, but we were separated not just by physical distance but by levels of technology; I had no access to the internet, and the phone calls and messages cost a got-damn bomb.

I thought we were at the end of the road. I was so emo back then, seriously! Imagine a grown-dude (yes, I only became a "man" recently) sitting in the garden and it's nearly midnight. It's freezing cold, but I'm wearing a singlet and shorts and doing push-ups as I listen to this particular song because I've got all this angst pent up. And I'm singing along too. Dang. I was miserable.

And this song really spoke to me as I thought off what could happen and what would happen. Now, reading the lyrics, listening to the song and singing along at a tuneless voice, I recall what DID happen, and how it sucked so badly at that time.

Can't Let Go by Landon Pigg

Well you're the closest thing I have
To bring up in a conversation
About a love that didn't last
But I could never call you mine
Cause I could never call myself yours
And if we were really meant to be
Well then we justify destiny
Its not that our love died
Just never really bloomed

Well I can't let go
No, I can't let go of you
You're holding me back without even trying to.
I can't let go
I can't move on from the past
Without lifting a finger you're holding me back.

And then we saw our paths diverge
And I guess I felt OK about it.
Until you got with another man,
And then I couldn't understand
Why it bothered me so.
How we didn't die we just
Never had a chance to grow.

I can't let go
No, I can't let go of you
You're holding me back without even trying to.
I can't let go
I can't move on from the past.
Without lifting a finger you're holding me back.

And it might not make much sense
To you or any of my friends
Though somehow still you affect the
Things I do.
And you can't lose what you never had
I don't understand why I feel sad
Every time I see you out with someone new.

I can't let go
No, I can't let go
No, I can't let go of you.

I can't let go
No, I can't let go of you
You're holding me back without even trying to.
I can't let go
I can't move on from the past
Without lifting a finger you're holding me back.

I can't let go
No, I can't let go of you
You're holding me back without even trying to.
I can't let go
I can't move on from the past

Of course, I'm all better now :) It's just that at times, one can't help but look back at the past and hurt a little. You know, if things turned out this way and not that, life may be so much better. But I'll throw away the "maybes"; I'll settle with what I have now.

Because I've let go. And I'm moving on.

PS: Originally, the song had no apostrophes whatsoever. I edited ever single one of them in because I'm a Grammar Nazi. All hail the Apostrophe!