The Celebration and Condemnation of All-States of Death

I was feeling so screwed up yesterday, that now, thinking back, I can't decide when I hated myself more: yesterday, for reasons unknown, or today, for being so emo yesterday. On the bus home, I just collapsed I think; not literally, but I just sank into the seat, body curled in defeat. I surrendered myself to gravity, and let everything fall. I swear, nobody could have told I had a vertebrate, but that applied metaphorically, so it was apt in my suspended state of being "there" but not being "there".

Sucks how I'm still lost, losing, past, present, whatever. Long story short, some stuff happened in school, and some stuff happened. Since I became a councilor, the expectations from everybody seem to have shot up, to unreasonable level sometimes, I feel. But I'll rise up like I've always done. Just gotta get sometime...

Slept really early yesterday, only reading through my econs notes twice, and doing some maths practice, and I'm feeling considerably cheerier right now :). I guess what affects my mood most is 1) Food, and 2) Sleep. I'm on a diet now, so my stomach's running in a perpetual state of nearly-empty, and looking at the audacious amount of tests I have, shut-eye's going to be a real luxury.

Gah. But look on the bright-side. There's still the internet.


And a shout-out of thanks to Kerri, and Shernise. Thanks!